Family, rather than the individual, is the true unit of a great society.
Main purpose
- Production of offspring
- Supporting other Ashrama-s (brahmachArin-s, sannyAsin-s)
- Harmonious achievement of dharma, artha, kAma.
The bond
- Co-sacrificer relationship: yajamAna-patnI
- The fire comes from the wife’s parents’ house.
- When needed, they make fire with the araNI together.
- guru-shishyA relationship
Parenting
Identifying rivals
As someone said:
“शैशवाद् एव पुत्राय मरुराक्षसान् दर्शयित्वा - “इमे मरुराक्षसाः”, प्रेतालयान् दर्शयित्वा - “एते प्रेतालयाः”, मूर्खहिन्दुकान् दर्शयित्वा - “इमे हि मूर्खा” इति बोधयेम। लघुबाला सर्वदा प्रश्नपूर्णा इति स्मरणीयम्। तत्र प्रामाणिकम् उत्तरं दद्मश्चेद् अलम्। उदाहरणार्थम् पुत्रः पृच्छति - “किमर्थं स मूर्खः?”, “मरुराक्षसान् स किं करोति?” … इत्यादिकम्।”
Divorce
- There is an ancient sanskrit word for divorce. kauTilya uses it - mokSha. It is a simple misconception that there is no provision for divorce among hindu thinkers. [A1]
- नष्टे मृते प्रव्रजिते क्लीबे च पतिते पतौ। पञ्चत्स्वापत्सु नारीणां पतिरन्यो विधीयते।३०।। [पराशरो ऽत्र]
Widower options
- “For a widower, at least four different options are suggested in the Dharmashastras. While Yajnavalkya Smriti (1.89) suggests the widower to take another wife without delay and rekindle a new fire (for religious Yajnas), texts like Baudhayana Dharmasutra (2.17.4) suggests one to renounce the world and become a Sannyasi. He may also rekindle the fire with a ‘substitute wife[10]’ made of gold or Kusha grass (Aitereya Brahmana 32.8; Trikandamandana 2.8) and thus enter Grihasta Ashrama symbolically and continue his duties, or he may rekindle the fire alone for himself[11] (Trikandamandana 3.128) and taking Shraddha (faith/conviction) as his ‘substitute wife’ may perform agnihotra etc. similar to those who remain unmarried (Naishtika Brahmachari). Thus, the four options for the widower are: remarriage, renunciation, taking a substitute wife in the form of statue made of gold or kusha grass for ritual purposes, staying as Apatnika by rekindling the sacrificial fire for oneself alone. … Apatnikas are those who do not have dispassion and hence cannot take Sannyasa, but because of their love and attachment to their departed wives, they cannot even remarry. Either due to sorrow at the loss of the wife or due to desire to enter a Vanaprasta-like stage, the widower chooses the Apatnika path and practices Agnihotra etc. and lives a highly restrained life by….. #nAstikamob (curating for education) ….. cherishing the memory of the departed wife.” - Nithin
- vrata-s - to check: [IMG]
Widow options
- Widow suicide - see anugamana page
- “For a widow, on the other hand, Dharmashastras prescribe three different paths: Anugamana, Vidwavrata, and Punar-vivaaha[13]. While texts like Parashara Smriti (4.28-30) mention all the three paths, other texts mention only one or two options. … Vidhwavrata, on the other hand, takes on elements from both Sannyasa and Apatnika paths of the widowers. … Parashara Smriti (4.28) clearly allowing remarriage for women under five circumstances for Kaliyuga— if husband is missing, dead, has renounced the world, is impotent, or if he commits severe Adharmic actions— which pretty much covers all legitimate grounds; except for Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar, no Dharmashastra writer or commentator has written much about widow remarriage. " - Nithin
Widow remarriage / status.
- UN report about widows left in vArANAsi : here.
- shatAvadhAnI gaNesh’s view here paints a sympathetic picture of such women before 1k years.
Current subversion
- Bride quality is a matter of serious concern. Hope parents of daughters do a good job.
- “Our time has its own values, perhaps prizing more the individual and less the group, whether of family or any other kind. To grow up may mean increasingly to go away. The virtues of movement, from one area to another, from one job to another, from one set of beliefs to another, may be stressed more than the virtues of stability, tradition, and community, and where the new is praised and the old reproved, perhaps the strength of the time spanning family is bound to be less than in a more steady state.”
- Woman protection laws are lopsided and routinely misuesd (ufem list ) .