[[Mohan K.V 2013-11-24, 22:15:02 Source]]
सदास्वादः
अस्माभिः गजवैद्यकम् अपहाय अजवैद्यकम् अभ्यस्तम्
(asmābhiḥ gajavaidyakam apahāya ajavaidyakam abhyastam)
Meaning
“We had to abandon elephant-doctor-hood and take to practicing goat medicine”. Spoken in the first person plural, indicating an elevated sense of self-worth, but clearly this is a major fall in status. Who is this poor chap, and why this precipitous fall in his professional fortunes? Read on!
Context
Today’s verse is taken from the prahasana (comedic play) Laṭaka-melaka by Śankhadhara. The playwright lived about 900 years ago near Kannauj, and is famous for this single work.
The Laṭaka-melaka (Assembly of Cheats) is a light comedy that sketches out some stock characters of the poet’s time. Like with most Sanskrit comedic plays, the humor lies mostly in the plot and the details of execution. For example, the play begins with a local fraud teacher Sabhāsali coming to the house of the courtesan Danturā. The humor begins right at the names – Sabhāsali means ‘One beset with stage-fright’ (what a fine teacher he’d have made!), and Danturā is ‘buck-toothed’! He is announced in by this verse, much like the villains introducing themselves in the epic film Gunda:
वामागमाचारविदां वरिष्ठः परापकार-व्यसनैक-निष्ठः ।
अयं स वेदार्थ-पथ-प्रतीपः सभासलिः कौलकुल-प्रदीपः ॥
vāmāgamācāravidāṃ variṣṭhaḥ parāpakāra-vyasanaika-niṣṭhaḥ |
ayaṃ sa vedārtha-patha-pratīpaḥ sabhāsaliḥ kaulakula-pradīpaḥ ||
“Most skilled in the deceptive arts, forever devoted to mischief,
Acting contrary to every Vedic principle, Sabhāsali [enters], the light of his clan!”
Every word is just one syllable different from true praise: vāmāgamācāra-bhit would have been ‘destroyer of deception’; paropakāra would have meant helping others; vedārtha-patha-pradīpaḥ would have meant ‘a shining light on the path of the Vedas’, a true function of a teacher.
He is accompanied by an able student, Kulavyādhi (‘Disease of his clan’) :-) He explains his master’s entry into the courtesan’s house by relating the morning’s affairs:
अये दन्तुरे, अद्यैव कलहप्रियया समम् एतेषां दशना-दशनि नखा-नखि कर-चरण-निर्बन्ध-भीषणो महाहवः संवृतः । ततो दर्वी-खण्डेण, ततो अलात-खण्डेन, ततः पीठिकया, ततः हण्डिकया एष उपाध्यायो हत्वा निःसारितः ।
aye danture, adyaiva kalahapriyayā samam eteṣāṃ daśanā-daśani nakhā-nakhi kara-caraṇa-nirbandha-bhīṣaṇo mahāhavaḥ saṃvṛtaḥ | tato darvī-khaṇḍeṇa, tato alāta-khaṇḍena, tataḥ pīṭhikayā, tataḥ haṇḍikayā eṣa upādhyāyo hatvā niḥsāritaḥ |
“Oh Danturā, our master had a major fight with his wife Kalaha-priyā (‘fond of quarrel’ :-) ) just this morning. She was at his throat, and tied up his arms and legs and thrashed him! First with a ladle, then with a firebrand, then with a chair, and then with a heavy boiler pot! He was driven out, and came here”
There are a lot of idiomatic words here – ‘daśanā-daśani’ literally means ‘teeth to teeth’, nakā-nakhī ‘nails to nails’; these are carried over into many daughter languages even today. The delicious usage of plural in the beginning ‘eteṣāṃ’ which, after all the beatings, turns into a singular ‘eṣa upādhyāyaḥ’, is also noteworthy, as are the delightful samāsas like ‘kara-caraṇa-nirbandha-bhīṣaṇo mahāhavaḥ’ ‘a mighty battle with hands and feet tied up’!
Sabhāsali, of course, has his version of the story. He claims ‘ahaṃ prabala-tara-nirvedāt atra āyātaḥ’ ‘I came here after experiencing great renunciation of worldly desires’. A fine destination for a nirvedin, a courtesan’s house!
In another scene, Sabhāsali notices that Danturā has a small wound on her leg. He immediately calls for the ‘mahāvaidya’ ‘great doctor’ Jantuketu. The name means ‘The end of all beings’, one that is most astutely lived up to by the good doctor. :-) He introduces himself as the illustrious son of the camel doctor Kuṭumba-ketu (‘The end of his family’), evidently proud that his reach has exceeded his father’s! By the end of his dazzling entry, Danturā forgets about her minor leg wound, and asks him to repair her failing eyesight. The great doctor asks how good her sight is presently. She looks yonder, and says she can see till that banyan tree over there. Poor Jantu-ketu is unable to see the tree himself, and after a bit of struggle, delivers this expert prescription:
अर्क-क्षीरं वट-क्षीरं स्नुही-क्षीरं तथैव च ।
अञ्जनं तिलमात्रेण पर्वतोऽपि न दृश्यते ॥
arka-kṣīraṃ vaṭa-kṣīraṃ snuhī-kṣīraṃ tathaiva ca |
añjanaṃ tilamātreṇa parvato’pi na dṛśyate ||
“Combine the saps of Arka, Vaṭa and Snuhī trees, and mix it with some lampblack. Apply just a drop on each eye, and lo, you won’t even be able to see a mountain!”
Of course! The only sustainable solution to all eye problems is to make the patient blind! You see, Jantuketu is not that kind of sham doctor that hopes you keep coming back to him. One visit, and he fixes you for life!
Later on, relaxing after this much-praised exertion, Sabhāsali asks him how life’s going. Jantuketu’s reply contains today’s phrase, and the solution to the mystery:
अहो दुर्दैवम् अस्माकम् । निर्व्याधयः सकल-नगर-प्राणिनः । (दीर्घं निःश्व्यस्य) अहो धिग् व्यवहारं बर्बर-पुरस्य, यद् वैद्य एव मृतक-खट्वाम् उद्वहति । अत एव उद्वहन-भार-भयात् अस्माभिः गजवैद्यकम् अपहाय अजवैद्यकम् अभ्यस्तम् ।
aho durdaivam asmākam | nirvyādhayaḥ sakala-nagara-prāṇinaḥ | (dīrghaṃ niḥśvyasya) aho dhig vyavahāraṃ barbara-purasya, yad vaidya eva mṛtaka-khaṭvām udvahati | ata eva udvahana-bhāra-bhayāt asmābhiḥ gajavaidyakam apahāya ajavaidyakam abhyastam |
“Oh, these are difficult times. No animal seems to be sick these days. (Deeply sighing) Damn this new rule which says the doctor himself should carry his patients’ bodies [to the crematorium]. I was happily practising elephant medicine – fearing this rule, I’ve taken to practising goat medicine these days.”
This mild rule enforcing some ‘skin in the game’ proved too much for our esteemed expert, and he played it safe by switching to a much less prestigious, but much more manageable field :-)
A THOUGHT FOR TODAY
In a different prahasana (Hāsyārṇava), another doctor, who appears to be the professional colleague of Jantuketu, was idly flirting with a courtesan when a harried man comes to him and begs him to rush to his house to treat a family member. The doctor is unperturbed:
सर्वौषधानि तिष्ठन्तु चिकित्साऽपि च तिष्ठतु ।
मम दर्शनतो रोगी किल प्राणैर्विमुच्यते ॥
sarvauṣadhāni tiṣṭhantu cikitsā’pi ca tiṣṭhatu |
mama darśanato rogī kila prāṇairvimucyate ||
“Let all treatments and medicines be as they are, [don’t worry].
How can the patient pass away without seeing me?”
The doctor is so sure that the patient will die only after his treatment that he can grant this abhaya :-)
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