[[Mohan K.V 2013-03-04, 19:57:05 Source]]
सदास्वाद
लब्ध्वापि कामधेनुं ते लाङ्गले विनियुञ्जते
(labdhvāpi kāmadhenuṃ te lāṅgale viniyuñjate)
Meaning
“Having gotten Kāmadhenu itself, they yoke it to a plow!”. TheKāmadhenu is of course the celestial wish-giving cow. It would be the heights of stupidity, short-sightedness and total lack of any sense of value to yoke that divine being to till a field! You could ask it for a decade’s harvest and you’d have it in an instant! Who could be so idiotic? Read on!
Context
Today’s phrase is taken from the Kaliviḍambana of Nīlakaṇṭha Dīkṣita.Nīlakaṇṭha Dīkṣita was a southern poet who lived about 400 years ago, under the patronage of King Tirumala Nayaka of Madurai. He has written commentaries on tantra, satires, hymns and many works of classical poetry. Such a description would automatically make one form a picture of a pious, gifted poet, but not much more – butNīlakaṇṭha Dīkṣita had one more skill that pushed him into the category of pure genius: he was an extremely adroit social commentator, and had a ultra-realist picture of the uses and abuses of the professions prevalent in his day.
TheKaliviḍambana is a classic example – in this satire, the poet mocks a wide variety of characters with such penetrating insight that 400 years on, it still makes us first laugh out loud, and then think. It is a short work of about a 100 verses, and the best way to enjoy it is to dive right in.
The poet begins, mocking the very idea of arguments:
न भेतव्यं न बोद्धव्यं न श्राव्यं वादिनो वचः |
झटिति प्रतिवक्तव्यं सभासु विजिगीषुभिः |1|
na bhetavyaṃ na boddhavyaṃ na śrāvyaṃ vādino vacaḥ /
jhaṭiti prativaktavyaṃ sabhāsu vijigīṣubhiḥ //
“Don’t fear, don’t think, don’t even bother to listen. Just declare that they’re wrong [details can be worked out later] – this is necessary to anyone wanting to win in arguments”. How true it is for our TV debates today!
Next, on teachers:
वाच्यतां समयो ऽतीतः स्पष्टम् अग्रे भविष्यति |
इति पाठयतां ग्रन्थे काठिन्यं कुत्र वर्तते |8|
vācyatāṃ samayo ’tītaḥ spaṣṭam agre bhaviṣyati |
iti pāṭhayatāṃ granthe kāṭhinyaṃ kutra vartate ||
“‘Oh, we’re running out of time now, just read aloud the text [don’t bother about the meaning]. It’ll become clear later’. With such an approach, where is the difficulty in teaching anything?”. The poet has anticipated many of the invalid techniques of proof already!
Next, on Jyautiṣis, astrologers:
आयुःप्रश्ने दीर्घम् आयुर् वाच्यं मौहूर्तिकैर् जनैः |
जीवन्तो बहुमन्यन्ते मृताः प्रक्ष्यन्ति कं पुनः |16|
āyuḥpraśne dīrgham āyur vācyaṃ mauhūrtikair janaiḥ |
jīvanto bahumanyante mṛtāḥ prakṣyanti kaṃ punaḥ ||
“Always tell people they will have a long life. Those who actually live long will think highly of you, and dead men don’t ask questions!”. At the core of this brilliant piece of advice is a concept called survivorship bias: a parachute company once put out an ad, “We have NEVER received any complaints about our products”. They were telling the truth, of course – no one who had got a faulty product was alive to complain! This same bias is prevalent in rip-offs everywhere from finance to healthcare.
Next, advice to doctors:
नातिधैर्यं प्रदातव्यं नातिभीतिश्च रोगिणि |
नैश्चिन्त्यान् नादिमे दानं नैराश्याद् एव नान्तिमे |24|
nātidhairyaṃ pradātavyaṃ nātibhītiś ca rogiṇi |
naiścintyān nādime dānaṃ nairāśyād eva nāntime ||
“Don’t give [your patients] too much hope, but don’t make them too afraid either – In the former case, they won’t pay up because they’re too confident, and in the latter, because they’ve given up!”
Of course, the poet wouldn’t be what he is if he didn’t also outline the other end of the table: On patients:
रोगस्योपक्रमे सान्त्वं मध्ये किं चिद् धनव्ययः ।
शनैः अनादरः शान्तौ स्नातो वैद्यं न पश्यति |30|
rogasyopakrame sāntvaṃ madhye kiṃ cid dhanavyayaḥ |
śanaiḥ anādaraḥ śāntau snāto vaidyaṃ na paśyati ||
“At the onset of the disease, they show much meekness and gentleness; in the middle, they may spend some money. As it gets better, they start becoming contemptuous towards the doctor, and by the time disease is gone and the patient’s had his cleansing bath, he won’t even glance at the doctor!”
Today’s phrase comes from a lovely mockery of poets:
वर्णयन्ति नराभासान् वाणीं लब्ध्वापि ये जनाः |
लब्ध्वापि कामधेनुं ते लाङ्गले विनियुञ्जते |38|
varṇayanti narābhāsān vāṇīṃ labdhvāpi ye janāḥ |
labdhvāpi kāmadhenuṃ te lāṅgale viniyuñjate ||
“Even after getting the inestimable gift of speech, [poets] waste it all describing men who are not even worthy of being called ‘men’.Having gotten the very Kāmadhenu, they yoke it to a plow!”. How true this is of the media today – the power of free speech can make paradises out of deserts, and yet, it is utterly wasted on the petty animosities of half-men.
An earlier verse leads into this:
कातर्यं दुर्विनीतत्वं कार्पण्यम् अविवेकताम् ।
सर्वं मार्जन्ति कवयः शालीनां मुष्टि-किंकराः ।33।
kātaryaṃ durvinītatvaṃ kārpaṇyam avivekatām |
sarvaṃ mārjanti kavayaḥ śālīnāṃ muṣṭi-kiṃkarāḥ |33|
“Cowardice, bad conduct, miserliness, stupidity – poets cleanse everything, all for a handful of rice”. How many journalists, authors and intellectuals today could be described to the dot with this?
Moving on, he doesn’t even spare wives:
गृहिणी स्वजनं वक्ति शुष्काहारं मिताशनम् |
पतिपक्ष्यांस्तु बह्वाशान् क्षीरपांस्तस्करान् अपि |47|
gṛhiṇī svajanaṃ vakti śuṣkāhāraṃ mitāśanam |
patipakṣyāṃstu bahvāśān kṣīrapāṃstaskarān api |47|
“The wife speaks of her relatives as ascetics, barely eating dry scraps. And the husband’s relatives? ‘They are gluttons! They drain gallons of milk! Why, they are thieves even!!’ "
But he does seem to suggest that this situation was partly the hubby’s fault:
भार्ये द्वे पुत्रशालिन्यौ भगिनी पतिवर्जिता |
अश्रान्तकलहो नाम योगोऽयं गृहमेधिनाम् |49|
bhārye dve putraśālinyau bhaginī pativarjitā |
aśrāntakalaho nāma yogo’yaṃ gṛhamedhinām ||
“Two wives, both with children, and a separated sister living together – this Yoga of the householder is called ‘aśrāntakalaha’, never-ending quarrel!”
This was a close contender for the top spot! The bitingly sarcastic use of ‘yoga’, typically reserved for great powers or great fortunes, and the very technical naming of the yoga, are distinctly idiomatic to Sanskrit!
Next, a flip-take on poverty:
शक्तिं करोति संचारे शीतोष्णे मर्षयत्यपि |
दीपयत्युदरे वह्निं दारिद्र्यं परमौषधम् |54|
śaktiṃ karoti saṃcāre śītoṣṇe marṣayatyapi |
dīpayatyudare vahniṃ dāridryaṃ paramauṣadham ||
“It gives strength to go around, makes one able to bear hot and cold, and kindles digestion [literally, lights a fire in the stomach] – surely, poverty is the best medicine!” How many times this trick of loving what one has over having what one loves has come to our rescue!
Another:
नास्य चोरा न पिशुना न दायादा न पार्थिवाः |
दैन्यं राज्याद् अपि ज्यायो यदि तत्त्वं प्रबुध्यते |57|
nāsya corā na piśunā na dāyādā na pārthivāḥ |
dainyaṃ rājyād api jyāyo yadi tattvaṃ prabudhyate |57|
“No worry of thieves, traitors, relatives or even of Kings – surely, poverty is greater than kingship, if one truly thinks about it”. All those high-earning Wall Street bankers who gave up their trades in disgust and chose to be become taxi drivers to get away from the stress would surely relate!
Next, on evil people:
न स्वार्थं किम्चिद् इच्छन्ति न प्रेर्यन्ते च केन चित् |
परार्थेषु प्रवर्तन्ते शठाः सन्तश् च तुल्यवत् |73|
na svārthaṃ kimcid icchanti na preryante ca kena cit |
parārtheṣu pravartante śaṭhāḥ santaś ca tulyavat ||
“They don’t care about their own affairs; they can’t be influenced by anyone; they act for others – surely, the evil and the good are alike!” – A very clever set of puns.
Next, a classic favorite, the miser:
दातारोऽर्थिभिरर्थ्यन्ते दातृभिः पुनरर्थिनः |
कर्तृ-कर्म-व्यतीहाराद् अहो निम्नोन्नतं कियत् |79|
dātāro’rthibhir arthyante dātṛbhiḥ punar arthinaḥ |
kartṛ-karma-vyatīhārād aho nimnonnataṃ kiyat ||
“Petitioners plead in front of the miser [for money, help, etc.] The miser in turn pleads in front of them [trying to tell them he has nothing, convincing them to go away]. What an inversion of ups and downs!”
Nīlakaṇṭha Dīkṣita reserves his best to bash fake holy-men:
वासः पुण्येषु तीर्थेषु प्रसिद्धश्च मृतो गुरुः |
अध्यापनावृत्तयश्च कीर्तनीया धनार्थिभिः |87|
vāsaḥ puṇyeṣu tīrtheṣu prasiddhaś ca mṛto guruḥ |
adhyāpanā-vṛttayaś ca kīrtanīyā dhanārthibhiḥ ||
“Where are you from? Answer some holy place. Who is your guru? Name some famous man who is also dead. And always repeatedly speak of teaching – this is necessary for anyone wanting to earn quickly”
मन्त्रभ्रंशे संप्रदायः प्रयोगश्च्युतसंकृतौ |
देशधर्मः त्वनाचारे पृच्छतां सिद्धम् उत्तरम् |88|
mantrabhraṃśe saṃpradāyaḥ prayogaścyutasaṃkṛtau |
deśadharmaḥ tvanācāre pṛcchatāṃ siddham uttaram ||
“Did you recite the mantra wrong? ‘Oh, it is our tradition’. Did you mess up a ritual? ‘Oh, it is our refined procedure’. Got caught doing something improper? ‘Oh, it is the custom of our land’ – these are ready answers to any nosy questioners!”
यथा जानन्ति बहवो यथा वक्ष्यन्ति दातरि |
तथा धर्मं चरेत् सर्वं न वृथा किं चिद् आचरेत् |89|
yathā jānanti bahavo yathā vakṣyanti dātari |
tathā dharmaṃ caret sarvaṃ na vṛthā kiṃ cid ācaret ||
“Many people should know of it, and many should go and talk about it to rich donors. Dharma must be followed like this. Never waste your time on other useless things.”
सदा जपपटो हस्ते मध्ये मध्ये ऽक्षिमीलनम् |
सर्वं ब्रह्मेति वादश्च सद्यः प्रत्ययहेतवः |90|
sadā japapaṭo haste madhye madhye ‘kṣimīlanam |
sarvaṃ brahmeti vādaśca sadyaḥ pratyayahetavaḥ ||
“Always have your rosary bead-bag in your hand. Close your eyes from time to time and mutter mystically, ‘All is Brahman’. This is the quickest evidence for holiness”
After all this though, the poet still remains optimistic and grounded in his concluding verse:
कामम् अस्तु जगत् सर्वं कालस्यास्य वशंवदम् |
कालकालं प्रपन्नानां कालः किं नः करिष्यति? |101|
kāmam astu jagat sarvaṃ kālasyāsya vaśaṃvadam |
kālakālaṃ prapannānāṃ kālaḥ kiṃ naḥ kariṣyati? ||
“It is true, this world is in the grip of evil times; but to us who are the devotees of Shiva, the Destroyer of Time itself, what can these mere transients do?”
Can you genuinely believe this was written 400 years ago, in times and places nothing like the present and yet very much like it? An ancient quote said it all:न कदाचित् अनीदृशं जगत् –na kadācit anīdṛśaṃ jagat – “The world was never not like now” :-)
Thought for today
Many of you got last week’s riddle quite easily –vṛkṣāgra-vāsī na ca pakṣi-jātiḥ trinetra-dhārī na ca śūla-pāṇiḥ |tvag-vastradhārī na ca siddha-yogī jalaṃ ca bibhran na ghato na meghaḥ – is a coconut, of course!
This week’s is slightly harder. Have a go!
विराजराजपुत्रारेः यन्नाम चतुरक्षरं ।
पूर्वार्धं तव शत्रूणां परार्धं तव संगरे ॥
virāja-rāja-putrāreḥ yannāma caturakṣaraṃ |
pūrvārdhaṃ tava śatrūṇāṃ parārdhaṃ tava saṃgare ||
A king and his loving queen shared a passion for giving each other riddles. One day, the king was about to set out to battle, and the queen was very confident that he’d win. Playfully, she wished him well with this riddle:
“The destroyer of the son of the master of the king of birds has a 4-syllable name. May the first half come to your enemies, and the next half to you in battle!”
What did she mean?