Shorts
When there were teachers, I was not ready to listen. When I opened my ears, they were gone.
Teachers Never Die
Teachers Never Die. I used this exact copy of Bhuṣaṇasāra 35 years ago, when I studied with Bidur Paudyal. My friends evolved and did great many things in their lives. I, on the other hand, am stuck with the same old book, reminiscing the old times. Students are transitory. Teachers are transitory. All these relations are preconditions for the power beyond our being to express itself.
The Light
My Guruji is no more. I lost both my fathers this year: the father who gave me this body and the father who raised me and taught me and trained me. I have no words, Ramji Malviya, of mine, which were not yours before I received them. My prayers and thoughts are merely the copies that you implanted in me. I will do my best to keep the torch alive, but without you behind, guiding me every step of the way, it is not going to be easy.
Guruji
Every guru purnima, I have celebrated remembering my teachers. This is the first time I have felt that my teachers also remember me. It just so happened that I received a package in the day of guru purnima, and it was from Ramji Malviya, my teacher from Varanasi, who had sent me an akṣamālā, a rosary. I was his student in the 80s, and have not met him for the last thirty years. What a blessing to receive the beads in the day of guru purnima!(5) Thank you guruji. And I have not forgotten the line that you made me recite when we were together the last time: that I should not neglect my study and teaching (svādhyāyapravaca-nābhyāṃ na pramaditavyam).(5)
maheshAnanda’s discourses
I am sincerely thankful to Liliana Benitez for the gift of these books from my Gurukula, Dakṣiṇāmūrtti Maṭha, Varanasi. Maheshananda Maharaj had a clear understanding that students join for the Svadhyaya courses and not the Pravacana courses. Svadhyayas were for the regular students, Pravacana was for the laymen.
I am glad Liliana collected the texts, including Samkalpasukta and Astottaranama of Shiva, as these were parts of his public discourses and now when I am reading these books, I can hear the words in his own voice, albeit sometimes fading away.
Bidur Paudyal
Those days only the summary version of this book (वैयाकरणसिद्धान्तभूषणम्) was available when I was in college. My teacher had the entire book memorized and did not even let us open the book while studying with him and didn’t stop repeating as long as we had completely understood. Now this four volume book is four times bigger and I will have to read it on my own, as he has already merged with Guhyakali. Yes, he was also a great Tantric sadhaka. His name was Bidur Paudyal (Student of Murkharanya Swami).
Goraksanatha
Victorious is Goraksanatha, the founder of the path of Yoga, who conquered death while being born on earth and who is Shiva himself even while being a human being.
शिव एव मनुष्यः सन्
भुवि जातोऽपि कालजित्।
गोरक्षनाथो जयताद्
योगमार्गप्रवर्तकः॥
True Teachings
A friend of mine came with an unusual proposal. One of his friends had a project to translate some teachings into the language of the ancients. The text read very well and the gist was agreeable, except for some prophecies that made it look strange. I needed money so I took the job. It was a bit unusual though. People want to understand the language of the lost civilizations but anybody hardly ever wants to take back as if in time capsule the teachings from now.
Seeking for spiritual awakening, my friend went to some retreat next year. It was too expensive for me to join him but he kindly promised to share with me the teachings.
To my amazement, the text he shared was what I had composed. Since I could not tell him this, I asked him about its origins. He was told that it was given in the vision of the great master, that the text was hidden and had recently been discovered. I had cryptically inserted my name in the initial letters of the last ten songs.
Durga Bhandari
I lack words to express my condolences that Durga Bhandari would have approved. Saying nice things about him would make him mad. He would despise words that lack poetry. He would demand that I cite Kalidasha when I cite Kafka and expected me to breathe in Shamkara and breathe out Kant.
He lived in the planes where the average human consciousness does not elevate and he loved when we judged him and mocked us for being limited. He did not write much but he gave words to those who wished to write; he was the gem that turned everything gold. He relished beauty but saw beauty even in what we find repulsive. Adios my teacher, my friend.
online classes
I am forced to move all my classes online. So far, I had been asked gently, offered grant or course release, and asked more directly, and I kept resisting the idea of ‘virtual’ teaching. If the Advaita of Samkara taught me anything, the world is already virtual enough and this chain virtuosity is merely to make the simulacra actual.
But any way, now I am tempted to offer some Shastra courses (like Sriharsha or Nagesha) online, if those willing to study are as generous as King Bhoja.
The Guru
He had a great sense of humor. But beyond that, he was an embodiment of love. None of these would capture his persona without addressing the wit and the wisdom that he possessed. He was a devoted teacher, revealing all the Agamas. All his students loved his teachings. Some loved him more than they loved his teachings.
One day the guru passed away and time took some of his students. And some students found new books to read. But the students who loved their teacher more were grounded to their guru, seeking his blessings. The students expressed their love by making his statue and they found following the statue a lot easier than to follow his teachings.(5)
Since now it was easy to follow the guru, people started flocking around. Some good composers made his prayers and the best singers sang those songs. And they danced and they laughed. Nobody remembers any more whether it is the guru that became the statue or the statue that became the guru.
विश्वास-टिप्पनी
अन्ततः परम्परया शिव एव गुरुः। तम् एव सङ्क्रमन्ताम्।
sankhyA teaching
I am letting you guys know I have completed recording Samkhya. There are 20 lectures. Needless to say, I spend 5 hours preparing for each lecture and recording takes one hour.
What are the steps involved in making these lectures please??
Besides 45 years of training, all it takes is comparing different commentaries, comparing different editions, writing my own summary, highlighting essential parts so I do not miss big points, and filtering out minor issues so that I do not waste your time, and sitting and recording is just a quick process.
In our times, Guruji used to have two types of lecture, one was called vyākhyāna and another was called śikṣā. The first was lengthy lecture for the laymen and the second was technical analysis for students.
My task in Gurukula was to write the summary for vyakhyana, basically writing notes to help Guruji deliver lecture so he does not need to waste his time.
We the students never sat for vyakhyana for they used to be really lengthy with stories and so on. I am only trying to do the sikṣā part so anybody serious enough can go and do the reading on his/her own.
What type of stories?
Most of the stories come from Puranas, some from current political news or some funny anecdotes. Some examples can be really lame. I do not remember the context but I remember one such lame story:
A jackal entered a dead body eating the body from the bottom and got trapped inside. And when Shiva was walking by, he made a lot of noise and introduced himself as Shiva inside the cave. And Shiva was offended and said, I am Shiva right here and how dare you say you are Shiva. And the jackal said, if you are Shiva make it rain heavily. And so did Shiva. And the hide loosened and the jackal ran away, tricking Shiva into making rain.
Or another was:
Shani comes and tells Shiva he has to unfortunately rule him for seven and half years. And Shiva laughed and went to samadhi for that long and came back. And said, you see, you could not affect me. And Shani said, Maharaj, my job is done, you had been in hiding all these years.
Guru Dreams
After a tea and a walk with Anouk,
I got inspired to drop a few lines in awakening.
Anouk is a higher order yogi from his past programs.
The conversation evolved on dreams and bubbles and meta-dreams.
At one point, I was tempted to cite Nagarjuna, who famously said:
“tān asādhyān pracakṣmahe” [I consider them incurable],
referring to those who believe themselves to adhere to śunyatā, to emptiness,
and who make emptiness yet another dogma.
Really, there is nothing that we as humans cannot turn into blind convictions.
Every single master who has tried to wake us up,
we have given them a bigger dream to live on.
From humans to prophets to gods.
Because they are not fitting on our regular size,
we cut a different size coat for them.
Shamkara dreamt.
Being defeated by Bhāratī on his naivity on the art of love-making,
Śaṅkara accepts the challenge to go and learn in the school of māyā.
In the body of the king, he finds the bosom of the queen and the hips of the concubines
far more attractive than those dry lines of reasoning and terse Mīmāṃsā exegesis.
If not for Padmapāda, his loyal disciple,
he would have never returned back to Guru dream again.
Matsyendra already had the same issue.
Here, Matsyendra accepts the challenge and enters into the dream of māyā,
but he loves this dream better than Guru dream,
and resists waking from it.
If not for emaciated Gorakhnath,
muscular Matsyendra would have never left the dream-house of sweetness.
Students come and go, just like dreams.
For some students, Gurus help shatter their bubble.
And some students help crack the shell of their Gurus.
Yes, we always say, if not for the students,
the Gurus would have entered the dream forever.
But after the awakening, how would we know they did not enter the Guru-dream,
just another dream with no sweetness.
We as disciples will have our final success,
if we can put Nagarjuna in one of those Guru-bubbles.
For he seems to have rejected that also.