Daughters

The status of female children varies
widely in Hindu society, based on
regional customs, the position of the
social subgroup (jati/caste) to which a
family belongs, and the particular circumstances of individual families. In
general, although the birth of a daughter is a welcome event, it brings greater
responsibility than the birth of a son.
Parents have a religious duty to arrange
a daughter’s marriage, and this is still
taken very seriously, since her marriage
is seen as the key to her continued material prosperity, as well as her fulfillment
as a human being. The gift of a daughter
(kanyadan) in marriage brings the parents immense religious merit, but also
an onerous economic obligation.
Arranging a marriage in modern India
usually involves considerable time,
anxiety, and expense. The last comes not
only from the expenses of the wedding
ceremonies, but also from the practice
of giving a dowry (gift to the groom’s
family) with the bride, which is still quite
common. In many poor families, the
birth of multiple daughters is often seen
as a disaster, since their families will be
unable to marry them properly.
Aside from the expense and trouble,
in many parts of India daughters are
often seen as “temporary” members of
their natal families. After their marriages
they will live in their marital homes and
become part of their marital families,
whereas their brothers will bring their
brides into their natal home and will live
there for the rest of their lives. It is upon
these sons and their wives that the parents will depend for support in their old
age, as well as for the performance of
ancestral rites after their deaths. This is
the traditional pattern throughout
much of India; although as the forces of
modernity have changed the joint family,
it has become more common for husbands and wives to live separately from
their parents. This pattern also shows
considerable local variation. For example, because the brahmin community in
southern India is so small, cross-cousin
marriage is fairly common there, and in
this circumstance a woman is actually
moving from one branch of her family
to another.
These economic and social factors
have sometimes led to unfortunate consequences. Consciously or unconsciously, one often finds that sons are
favored over daughters in many significant ways: in their access to education;
in their opportunities, which are
deemed more important for men
because of their need to support a family;
in Hindu inheritance laws (in which
sons get a much larger share, under the
presumption that they will be supporting a family); and in poorer families, in
which sons are favored for even more
basic needs such as food and access to
medical care. Despite these general patterns, it must be emphasized that many
families treat all their children with
177
Daughters
Seed of the datura, or thorn-apple.
Devotees of the god Shiva eat the
intoxicating seedpods, which can be lethal
if consumed in large amounts.
equal love and care. This is particularly
true in contemporary times, and given
the trend toward smaller families, the
birth of a daughter is cause for just as
much rejoicing as the birth of a son. See
also arranged marriage.