I MEET A MARATHA SUBEDAR
I was well acquainted with Kashinath Baneh, the Subhedar Major of the 4th (Infantry) Regiment. At my first visit to him he asked me what I had come for. I said to him, “I am very fond of a military carrer. Can I be enrolled (in your regiment)”. Thereupon that man knit his brows, and giving an emphatic nasal twang to his voice said to me in the Konkani dialect, " Bhatji Bova, what you say is true, but how will you be able to observe the customs of your caste in the regiment ? A regiment is not a place for eating sweetmeat balls. Look at my feet, and see how very bronzed they have become. This is the way we are required to move about (from place to place) ; we alone can do that."
He philosophied much in this fashion, but as I had no desire to argue with him I quietly heard what he said. I tickled him with the following words : " Subhedar Saheb, what a brave man you are !, Certainly you are the men to fight battles. Your bronzed feet strike me with wonder. What toil you must have undergone !" I tickled him in this manner, but at the same time taunted him as follows : " Did the Peshwas observe the customs of their caste when they crossed the Attock ? Was it by tasting sweetmeat balls that they confounded the Persians ? "
At this the Subhedar softened his tone and said, " I do not mean that; I only wanted to say that it is not possible to observe the caste customs in a regiment." I thus made various attempts to get myself enlisted in the army. But as the Deccan Maratha sepoys used to deride and jeer at us, I refused to see them any more.
EFFORT TO ENLIST IN THE ARMY
We sought information about regimental matters by making friends with native soldiers (of other castes). None of them, however, encouraged us in our desire to enlist in the army. They used to tell us that it was through their ill-luck that they got themselves enlisted in the army. We did not however, appreciate what they said and so vigorously prosecuted our efforts, which, however, proved futile. We were thus helpless in the matter. We then directed our efforts towards Hindustan(sic). We had interviews with many influential persons at Baroda, Gwalior, Indore. Hyderabad, Sangli, &c. and expressed to them our desire to serve in a cavalry regiment. But each one of them declined to do anything for us. Then we applied to the Portuguese Government at Goa, but were not favoured with a reply. Afterwards some one explained to us the futility of applying to subordinate European officers, and advised us to address the Commander-in-Chief at Simla, where our request would be favourably considered.
Four times did I address the Commander-in-Chief in the matter and received replies to my petitions, but they were all to no purpose. In other words, all the replies were of a negative character. I have handed over copies of them to my friends, Brewin and Kennedy. I have also got (a copy of) the application which I sent to the Chief of Sangli. I desire that all these should be printed hereafter.
DESIRE TO GO TO NEPAL
On receiving such a sour reply from Simla, we thought that it would be far better to settle in a foreign country than to remain in one where liberty did not exist even in so small a measure. Therefore knowing Nepal to be an independent country, my brother (determined to) set out for it. We were under the impression that our parents would not allow us to go to such a distant country, as hitherto we had never left them to follow our own inclinations. But now we thought we would be wasting away the very prime of our lives if we were to remain inactive. We also thought it undesirable to delay our plans as it was necessary that the art of war which we aspired to learn should be studied while one possessed a strong physique.
But another difficulty as to how to arrange for our parents in our absence presented itself. Being conscious that it was our duty not to forsake them, we decided that I should remain at home and my brother should proceed to Nepal for the achievement of our purpose. There he was to arrange everything for both of us and then inform me of his having done so. We then fixed an auspicious day for (his) departure.
All the members of our family were quite happy at this time. Readers ! my father’s profession of kirtan enabled him to earn plenty of money. He was liberal in his expenditure, and so every holiday was well enjoyed. As my father was very hospitable to his guests, there was scarcely a day on which we did not partake of sweetmeats with our guests and friends. Our family having increased by the grace of God, our happiness also increased in the same proportion. It is a fact to be particularly remembered that our family possessed in a full measure that affection (for one another) which is the source of all domestic happiness.+++(5)+++ I have seen a good many families, but have never come across a single one which is free from domestic quarrels. Fire seize their other comforts ! There are many who possess wealth, and are also blessed with large families, but no two members of the family live in harmony. Such, however, was not the case with our family. All those who were younger than myself were obedient to me, and they never showed any disrespect to me. I do not know how I can requite them for all this. May Heaven bless them ! My family thus consisted of my loving brothers and sisters, my father and mother, and my wife and son ; but the actions of our former existence having given a peculiar turn to our predilections, our minds deviated from all domestic concerns and took a different direction.
BALKRISHNA STARTS BUT HAS TO RETURN
An auspicious day having been fixed for my brother’s departure to Nepal, he took with him Rs. 40 for his travelling expenses. This amount had been accumulated by us laying aside small sums of money for this long journey. He also took with him other necessary things. As we had settled that my brother should start by the morning train, both of us left our beds early in the morning and adored the Deity, and prayed to Him that as we were leaving (the city) with a good object in view, He should vouchsafe success to us. Then considering my seniority in age, I gave him some advice, after which I was for a moment plunged in sadness at the thought of (our impending) seperation. As the members of our family had never before seperated from each other, this (seperation) was found by us to be extremely unbearable. Besides, the affection mutually felt by us was not like that felt by other brothers for each other. My brother saluted me, made a mental (sic) obeisance to our parents, uttered the name of Gajanan and stepped out of the house. Having gone as far as Budhwar (Peth) to see him off, I returned.
My mind, however, was filled with sadness, and it having occurred to me that contrary to the rules laid down in the Shastras he had set out on a journey without taking any companion with him, I prayed that God might keep him happy. I then came home. At 10 O’clock in the morning, as my brother was not present at dinner-time, my father suspected that he must have gone to some (distant) place. My father being very astute could at once divine (the motive of) our conduct. Our mother was indeed of an unsuspecting nature, but our father gave her to understand that Balkrishna had left home for some (unknown) place. Thereupon she persisted in saying that I knew his whereabouts and refused to eat anything unless I brought him back by writing to him. I told her that he had not apprised me of his departure.
But would she believe it? How could our parents, who knew our daily mode of life, believe what I told them ? Then I thought that I had not acted properly in remaining behind. I could not bear to hear my mother’s lamentations. But what could I do ? Wishing to get out of the difficulty any how, I assured her that he had gone to Baroda, and made her take her meal. My mother importuned me daily (to give information about my brother), but every day I basely deluded her with some fresh explanation.
Our parents led a moral life and I was heartily grieved to have abandoned them and caused them trouble. Every one in the town would ask me where my brother had gone, and I would reply that he had gone to Baroda, in search of employment. In this manner about fifteen days elapsed, but I received no letter giving any account of his health, &c. This circumstance caused me great anxiety.
One day, however, I unexpectedly received a telegram, requesting me to remit Rs. 25 to him by a telegraphic money-order. The perusal thereof removed my anxiety, as I learnt from it that my brother was in good health. I then began to guess why he wanted money. That, however, was no proper time for (idle) conjectures, and so I began to consider how I might procure the requisite amount.
Though a perusal of our lives would lead the reader to suppose that we were expert thieves, we never unjustly took a single chhadam from any one. On the contrary, in money matters we obliged others, but never incurred any debt ourselves. Not being addicted to any vice we never wanted money. If we at all wanted money, it was for the good of the country. As we thus lived a life of probity, we had considerable credit with the people. I was sure that my request for money would not be refused by any one (of our friends). Accordingly, when I asked for the said amount of one of our friends he at once paid it.
I heartily thanked him for this and at once remitted the amount by a telegraphic money-order to my brother’s address at the Allahabad Post Office according to his instructions. From my brother’s (continued) absence my father concluded that I, his eldest son, would also follow him, and even sent letter to that effect, to his friends and acquaintances. Not having received any letters from my brother for fifteen days after I had remitted the said amount to him, I became anxious, when one day, as I awoke at dawn, I heard my dear brother’s voice, to my great delight.
First of all I devoutly thanked God on seeing my brother in sound health. I was especially delighted at the thought that my mother would rejoice (at my brother’s return). Accordingly, when she saw Balkrishna that morning her face plainly indicated the joy felt by her. Then on the second or third day after my brother’s return, I asked him to give an account of what had occurred at the place to which he had gone. This he did in detail. I think that the high hopes which we had entertained about Nepal were wholly destroyed. I wish that my brother should himself write an account of the perilous position in which he had found himself. I, therefore, omit it from this narrative.
After this, we determined to accomplish our object by remaining in our country, regardless of consequences. We also determined never to abandon our parents. Having pondered over what we should do next, I said to my brother that we might make one more application (to Government), stating. " Since you decline to appoint to suitable posts men like ourselves, who are fond of the art of war, how should we gratify our desire ? Should we rebel ? " Considering that the making of such an application would be tantamount to open hostility, we decided that since the English were our implacable enemies and the cause of our subjection, we should commit as many hostile acts against them as we could. This was the first and the most potent cause of the enmity between the English and ourselves.