DETERMINATION OF THE TIME OF BIRTH
At 3 ghatikas after sunrise on Friday, partly first and partly second day of the dark half of the month of Jyeshtha, hot season dakshinayana, Shak year, 1791, called Shukla, and under the Karka Lagna and the Purvashada-nakshatra, Phaladevasharma belonging to the Manushyagan (was born).
MY FAMILY
I was born at the village of Chinchwad. My family was rich at the time I was born, but its wealth began to vanish as I grew up. This may be ascribed either to my ill-luck or to the adverseness of the times. For we daily see great men fall from their high estate and vice versa in the extraordinary transformations effected by the Almighty. Why may it not be said, then, that the depressed state to which my family was reduced was brought about by the same law of nature ? My grandfather’s name was Vinayak, the names of my father, myself and my mother being, respectively, Hari, Damodar and Dwarka. My grandfather was a great lover of independence. He, therefore, did not accept service, which means subjection to others, though he was a man of ability.+++(4)+++ This is the fruit of knowledge. But now-a-days a state of subjection is liked by the people to such an extent that he alone is considered a talented man who (instead of) devoting his vast knowledge acquired by life long labour in serving the people accepts the service (of Government).+++(5)+++ This also must be attributed to the influence of adverse times.
There is an adage to the effect that agriculture is the best (of professions), trade the middle one, and service the lowest.+++(4)+++ It is on account of the freedom which is its outcome that agriculture has been assigned the foremost place amongst the three professions ranged in the above order. But now-a-days agriculture is looked down upon as a mean profession. It thus follows that all things, moveable and immoveable, the ignorant and the learned, the poor and the rich, nay, even all beings from the ant to Brahma, are affected in an equal degree by the unfavourable turn of the wheel of time. My liberty-loving grandfather was stigmatized by the people as a man who squandered as he liked the savings of his father and led a life of indolent ease. At one time he would lay out a garden and water it with a copper-moat, at another time he would start a dispensary and distribute medicines gratis.+++(4)+++ These doings of his, though good in themselves, subjected him to the censure of the people. Some said that he had not wit enough for service.+++(5)+++ With a view to free himself from such calumnious gossip, my grandfather passed examination and was appointed to a post of Rs. 60 per mensem in some department at Kolhapur. He served there for about two or three months, and having thus exhibited the flame of his knowledge to the ignorant, he again turned his back upon that state of bondage and directed his attention to independent vocations. But the adage that when Fate is adverse even a hundred attempts fail, is not untrue. Now, my grandfather engaged himself in all sorts of occupations , he even started a grocer’s shop, a printing press, a sweetmeat stall, and a loom. He tried his hand at things too many to mention, but fortune being unfavourable, they all proved fruitless. Our family consisted of about twenty members, including my six uncles, two aunts, two grandmothers and other relatives.
PILGRIMAGE TO BENARES
My grandfather was a whimsical person, that is to say, he insisted on doing whatever he once took a fancy to. Either owing to this whimsical disposition of his, or through extreme vexation at being thwarted by fate in all his undertakings, he at one time took it into his head to go on pilgrimage to Benares with his family. On that occasion the people of the village and his friends and acquaintances tried much to dissuade him from doing so, but their advice was without avail in consequence of the above-mentioned obstinacy of his disposition. When we started on a pilgrimage to Kashi, we were twenty-five persons in all, besides two male servants and three carts. I was about five or six years old at this time. Being then so very young, I do not recollect any incidents of the journey worth mentioning. The death of my elder sister, aged about nine years, at Gwalior is the principal event I remember.+++(4)+++ Having said so much, I quit this topic and proceed to describe what followed the pilgrimage. We returned home after completing the pilgrimage to Benares after nine or ten months. In the opinion of some, this pilgrimage to Benares was the chief cause of our poverty. But I do not at all agree in this opinion. I do not, therefore, consider these men as well informed, though they may have a knowledge of worldly matters. In my tender years I had an opportunity 959of drinking the water of the Ganges, bathing in it, and giving alms and of seeing and touching (the image of) Kashivishveshwara.+++(4)+++ For this I feel profoundly grateful to my grandfather.
I WAS SENT TO SCHOOL
After our return to our native country from the pilgrimage, I was sent to a school at Chinchwad for my education. I have already said that my grandfather loved liberty. He educated all his children in a manner consonant with his wilful disposition. My father learnt English at the Poona High School. After he had nearly completed the sixth standard, a Shastri was engaged to teach him Sanskrit at home, and in order that my father might have a companion in his studies, a Brahmin friend of his own age was selected for that purpose.+++(4)+++ My grandfaher’s intellect was so keen that he became proficient in Sanskrit by simply hearing the lessons given by the Shastri to my father every morning. The chief object of teaching Sanskrit to his eldest son was that by initiating him in the profession of performing kirtan, which besides being an independent one, was also conducive to one’s material as well as spiritual good, all the members of the family might in contentment partake in the simple fare he might earn and say " Hari, Hari," at their ease. How ingenuous were these views ! It was in harmony with these views that he began to teach one of his sons to play on the pakhwaj and two others on the sarangi and two others to sing. He was actuated by a desire that (his son’s) katha should be as unrivalled as that of the famous Trimbakboa of Nasik.
MY FATHER TAKES TO KIRTAN
After my father had completed his Sanskrit education, he began to receive instruction in the art of performing kirtan. But all the accessories of a kirtan, viz., the most fascinating legends and the most melodious poetry in Saki, Dindi, Pad, Arya and Ovi metres could not be got from other Haridases. He, therefore, himself composed verses and fascinating legends and my father began to use them in his kirtan. The first kirtan was performed in our own house. As my father was naturally endowed with humorous speech, some persons on hearing the first kirtan prophesied tnat he was destined to excel as a kirtan performer. As we belonged to an ancient lay family, our caste-men and friends did not like to see my father adopt the profession of Haridas.+++(4)+++ Nay, even none of our family except my grandfather liked it. But what could they do ? No one dared utter a single word in the presence of my grandfather. But whenever he praised the profession the members of our family never failed to show their disapproval of it by turning up their noses and knitting their brows. This was also due to the influence of adverse times. For, as is said by (the poet) Mayurpant in an Arya line, " Far better is hell : dependence is a hundred times more harassing" which means that hell is a hundred times better than dependence. Though service is so despicable, it is held in high esteem in the nineteenth century. May it not be said that this also is an instance of the singular influence of the times ?
THE FAMILY BREAKS UP
As all the members of our family viewed the said profession with disfavour my uncles soon ceased to assist (my father in) kirtan performances, and each (of them) having selected his own profession went away where he liked. My far-sighted grandfather (also) left for some distant land when he saw this break up of our family and the gradual withdrawal of the goddess of wealth from our midst and for (the next) thirteen years he did not show his face again in his native country. How curious it is that ever since then up till now, all of us have been wandering in different lands in pursuit of different occupations. Some of us are happy while others live in misery. Strangely enough, out of all of us, my eldest uncle, viz., my father’s next younger brother alone, remained at home with his family. It appears that it was not his destiny to be a wanderer. But this circumstance does not warrant the inference that he tasted happiness by thus remaining at home. On several occasions he had to starve. I am altogether against staying at home under such circumstances. During these hard times we were travelling about the province of Nemad.
GRANDFATHER’S HARDSHIPS
My grandfather had settled down at Indore and there he earned a living by penmanship. He wrote an excellent Balbodh and Modi hand. (Even) now there can be seen in every house at Indore manuscripts written by him. These are his memorials raised by himself. It is strange that time brings about a wonderful change in the nature of man as in that of everything else. Neither his character nor his intellectual powers nor his appearance can remain the same for all time. In obedience to that law, this individual (i.e., my grandfather) possessed many attributes worthy of being imitated. He had now made it a rule not to speak in the Prakrit tongue.+++(4)+++ He dressed in any way he liked and ate anything. He relinquished, as far as possible, all intercourse with men. In short, he did not believe that any duty of his had remained unperformed. Is it conceivable that the descendants of a great man whose transactions extended over lakhs of rupees, who had given away thousands in charity in his palmy days, should be compelled, during his lifetime, and before the eyes of his relations and friends, to beg for alms with a wallet slung from the shoulder, or with a beggar’s bowl in hand, in such capital town as Indore and Dhar. But this cannot be helped. Strange indeed are the decrees of fate ! Well, but did my grandfather ever feel mortified because he had to do such mean things ? No, never !+++(4)+++ This was due to the serenity of his temper. He was proud of himself for suiting his actions to the times. What reason was there for him, then, to feel ashamed ? Such actions, however, filled others with shame. I and my younger brother were of too tender an age to understand anything then.
WE FACED POVERTY
While we were in such straitened circumstances, my thread ceremony and the the marriage of…………………(Blank in the original) were celebrated with difficulty by expending a small sum of money. Sometimes the male members of our family secretly took their food at the Annasatra. We too used to be secretly taken there, but with a warning not to disclose the fact to any one. We were told that in case of our being questioned, we should name (some other) place.+++(4)+++ Alas ! even now, when I remember those loving words spoken by them during such hard times, they fill my mind with sadness. In short, during adverse times, it becomes extremely difficult to protect one’s family and honour without money. It is true that all the members of my family greatly regret that they (were compelled to have recourse to) such unbecoming shifts to appease (the pangs of) hunger. I, however, not only do not regret these occurrences, but on the contrary contemplate with a feeling of pride that the Chapekars, though beset with such difficulties, did not even care to seek the help of their well-to-do relatives and friends, but that, as suited their unbending haughtiness, they tided over those (hard) times by simply uttering the name of God and without sacrificing their independence or accepting bondage. Though we begged for alms, we never entered the houses of people for that purpose nor did we persist in our importunity until pushed out.+++(4)+++ Why should we, therefore, be ashamed of this ? Even now I will adopt the same course if similar calamities overtake me. For begging is a hundred times better than subjection to others. Let that pass. On twenty-five occasions in about one year we were compelled to have recourse to begging. Since that time, however, up till now, that is to say, for the last fourteen or fifteen years, we have not been obliged to resort to it. Let that (too) pass.
DEATH OF MY GRANDFATHER
My grandfather, who possessed a spirit which remained imperturbed both in times of happiness and misery, passed away on the……………(Blank in the original). He suffered from dysentery during his last days. He always prayed to God that he might die of dysentery, because a man suffering from that disorder retains his senses till his last moment and is thus enabled to utter the name of God (to the last). By the grace of God, my grandfather died of dysentery as he had wished. His throat having become choked by phlegm during his last moment, he found it difficult to utter God’s name, and therefore he wrote down on a slate as follows : " It is certain that I am dying, but it will be better if you give me abhrakbhasrr.a (A kind of native medicine) to remove the phelgm sticking in my throat, as it obstructs the utterance of the name of God." Accordingly my uncle made him take that powder, and a short time later he left this world for the next one. His dead body was consigned to the waters of the river Kshipra, which is sixteen miles from Indore. He died the very day on which he took Sanyas.+++(4)+++ I was at Nagpur with my father and mother when this sad event happened. We were informed by wire of the critical condition of my grandfather two days before his death, but we were unable to have a last look at him on account of the many inconveniences which came in our way. This circumstance deeply grieved us, especially my father. But it was of no avail. We could not go, as we were helpless in the matter. Nagpur must be about a thousand miles from Indore. The first great difficulty in our way for going over such a long distance was (the money wherewith to pay our) fare, and this, in conjunction with other difficulties, prevented us from paying our last respects to my grandfather. It was so ordained by God. My grandmother too (died) under similar circumstances, that is to say, none of us were present during her last hours. We are taken to task for this by some of our friends and relatives, who do not take into consideration the insuperable difficulties which prevented us from visiting my grandfather and grandmother in their last hours. Let that, however, pass.